
- First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
- I considered atheism, but there weren’t enough holidays.
- Practice safe eating … always use condiments.
- I’m out of my mind … but feel free to leave a message.
- If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
- The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
- As I said before, I never repeat myself.
- Follow your dream …unless it’s the one where you’re running naked through Wal-Mart.
- Dogs have owners, and cats have staff.
- I’m not afraid of heights; I’m afraid of widths.