10 Terrifying Thoughts For a New Millenium

  1. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.
  2. I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
  3. Who are these kids, and why are they calling me Mom.
  4. Live each day as if it were your last… and someday you’ll be right.
  5. I haven’t lost my mind; it’s backed up on disk somewhere.
  6. Drink Varnish, and you’ll have a lovely finish.
  7. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  8. There’s no need to fear falling; it’s the sudden stop at the bottom that you should fear.
  9. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
  10. The face is familiar, but I can’t quite remember my name.
Written by:

Scott Friedman

Scott Friedman, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) and former President of the National Speakers Association (NSA), is an internationally sought after professional speaker and author. As a motivational humorist, Scott inspires and entertains with engaging, interactive, and content-rich programs. Scott’s main areas of expertise are employee innovation & engagement, customer experience, and creating a happier, more connected workplace and life.

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